Getting Spooked
I love Halloween and all things spooky scary. But not scary-scary. I'm trying to sleep at night, people. Here are the things that my nightmares are made of:
1. Spiders. Because they're gross.
2. People Who Aren't Afraid of Spiders. I'm convinced that people who don't fear spiders also fear neither man nor God.
3. Needles. I don't fear the pain or the blood associated with needles, just the needle itself. This scene in The Ring 2 really did a number on me.
4. Having All My Limbs Amputated and/or Being Severely Paralyzed. Think Jean-Dominique Bauby, or that Metallica song based on that book I have never read or even Anakin in Revenge of the Sith. I know that sometimes terrible accidents or illnesses like come with a life-is-precious-don't-let-your-disability-hold-you-back moral, but the only one of those three scenarios that doesn't sound preferable to death to me is the Anakin one because at least he got to be Darth Vader after.
5. Getting Written Up/Suspended/Expelled/Fired/Sent to Prison. Despite my desire to present as a rebellious badass, I am in fact rule following nerd.
6. Antibiotic Resistant Bacteria. As with most things health related, there seems to be some debate as to whether or not this is a real issue. But I've read enough scary-ass articles to feel justified in my fear. Perhaps more terrifying than these superbugs, though, is the cure: Maggots. We as a species cannot win.
7. Getting Bit By One of Those Flies That Lays Eggs Inside You. This is a risk we all run each time we leave our homes. And maybe even one we face inside it. (I don't actually know where these flies are found and I don't want to.)
8. Global Chocolate Shortage. Yeah, this is a thing. The prospect of eating chocolate is at least 20% of my motivation for getting up on any given day. I'd rather live in a world infested by zombies than a world run low on chocolate.
Please feel free to debate in the comments which of these fears are irrational!