Female Friendships Are Everything

Some of my Very Deeply Held Beliefs:

1. People who drive loud trucks are douchey.
2. Wearing Birkenstocks with socks is embarrassing but acceptably so. 
3. “Africa” by Toto is the ultimate karaoke song.
4. The most important aspect of feminism is female friendship. 

Some elaboration on that last one: The right to vote, to equal pay, to safe and legal abortions, to be hairy are all important, but, as a woman, your support of these things really falls flat if you don’t support other women that you actually know and interact with. 

To women and men alike, if you ever hear a woman say that she “doesn’t get along with other girls” because they’re jealous, or too much drama or too high maintenance: RUN. That woman is, as a person, a big ol’ turd. Because while some girls do get jealous of other girls, cause drama or have high maintenance tendencies, lots of girls don’t. Really, women have a variety of personalities. They have a variety of interests. (Women: They’re people, just like us!) Some of those personalities and interests won’t be compatible with those of other women…but that doesn’t mean that they’re not compatible with any other woman, at all, ever, in the entire world. If a woman is saying that all other women are the problem? She’s the common denominator. She is the problem. 

Ladies, I’m not telling you to disown the dudes in your lives (though, just sayin’, if all your friends think your current paramour sucks, he probably does). But I am telling you that friendship with other chicks cannot be replaced by friendship or romance with guys. Female friendship is just so beautiful. I’m talking the kind of female friendship that comes after listening to another woman agonize about her love life for hours at a time. It comes from getting drunk together, on vodka out in downtown bars wearing something kind of skanky and on wine in the comfort of one of your homes while lounging in sweats. It comes from sharing that you’re insecure about where you are in life, whether that’s in terms of money or love or career or geographical location. 

When I joined a sorority, I became sisters with several girls who said that they didn’t have girl friends in high school. The most beautiful thing in the world was watching them form friendships—best friendships—with other sisters or myself. Living with seven other women during my junior and senior years of college taught me the importance of being friends with other women. It wasn’t always fun or easy. There were fights over who said what about who and who doesn’t like whose boyfriend and why is that bitch always leaving her hair in the shower, but the pain of those moments pales in comparison to the pure contentment I found in the times we’d stay in all day without pants on and order in Chinese food while watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, or the Sunday and Monday nights we randomly went to the bar and played “Africa” (the ultimate karaoke song, in case you forgot) on the jukebox.

My gal pals have sat with me while I sobbed because some guy was an ass. They’ve given me rides home when I was drunk and brought me soup when I was sick. They’ve travelled 14 hours in a plane with me and they’ve watched old animated movies with me while we laughed so hard at them we cried. They’ve loaned me money when my car got towed because I accidentally parked in a tow zone and was too broke to pay the fee right away. They’ve gone out to eat with me and stayed at the restaurant talking for hours after. They’ve made me a better person. 

Sometimes, especially if your soul is as back as mine, it’s hard to be happy for others when you’re not getting what you want and it’s hard to be consoling when everything is going great for you. But this support and sympathy is what I’ve gained through my female friendships, and it’s what I’ve learned to give in return. 

To all my lady friends: It's gonna a lot to drag me away from yooou.