Such Carpe, Very Diem: Highlights From a Trip to Taiwan

About two months ago, I got hit by a car while I was out running. That same night, just an hour or so later, one of my best friends and college roommates texted me. She was going to Taiwan after Christmas to visit another best friend and roommate of ours who has been living in Taipei since July as a Fulbright English Teaching Assistant. (This post really took a turn, didn’t it?)

I’d thought about visiting Krista in Taiwan before, but prior to almost being straight-up run over, the thought had never translated to anything approaching a real plan. Nothing like a near-death experience to really put your priorities in perspective! The next day, I told Mackenzie yes, I’d go with her. And a week after that, we booked our tickets. ('Cause FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS, yo.)

We’ve been back from our trip for about two weeks now, and I’ve been struggling to write about the experience. Normally, I’d just talk about the highlights of a vacation. The issue is that the entire trip was a highlight...of my life. That said, here are the highlights of the highlights:

Beef noods were delicious. Taiwan beer was not, unless you think Natty Light is delicious.

Mackenzie and I survived a total of 18 hours in flight, there and back. Shoutout to the real in-air MVPs: Plane booze and sleeping pills.

We ate with chopsticks for every meal.

We ate a lot of meals. Luckily I got full really fast because eating with chopsticks, when you don't really know how, takes forever. This, combined with walking everywhere, is what I'm patenting as the "American Fatties in Taiwan" weight loss plan.

On Wednesdays, we go to temples. (Four, to be exact.)

We got up at 6 a.m.—the day after our arrival, I might add—and climbed a mountain. (The summit of which was perpetually 100 meters away.)

We saw prayer hour at Longshan Temple. I don't have any funny commentary about this because even I am not so crass at to try to turn peoples' legitimate religious practice into a snappy zinger. (At least not on the record. Maybe chat me up when I'm kind of tipsy at the bar.)

Krista introduced Mackenzie and I to dan bing, which I have craved every day since returning. Oh, dan bing. How I miss your eggy-cheesy-flakey goodness.

We spent hours sifting through adorable, cheap clothes at night markets and I drove my friends slowly insane as I drug them along on my quest to find the perfect case for my new iPhone.

We got our hair cut at Cruxx H. Studio, a salon that lets you hold cats while you get your hairs did. Hair, barber, cafe, meow indeed.

Mackenzie and I watched Krista tell her fifth graders that they can be in the kitchen, but not in the chicken. And we got stared at by lots of tiny humans. Teaching 10-year-olds English must be a very special kind of hell.

Jokes about my blatant dislike of children aside, I really am proud of my friend.

We climbed another, steeper mountain. At the top of which I screamed, “I FEEL ALIVE AS FUCK!”

Then we climbed a mountain that made the mountain I just climbed look like a tiny baby mountain. (Those mountains were actually crags known as Loving Mother and Dutiful Son.)

We sang our hearts out at KTV. Three people singing karaoke in a room with only each other does not necessarily sound fun, but when you’re with people you can laugh with, it’s the best time in the world. Also, you haven't lived until you've scream-sung "I'll Make Love To You" to a music video of 90s white people looking at each other meaningfully.

I went from one life-and-death experience to another and I'm apparently stoked about it.

I’d previously had zero interest in traveling to any country in Asia, but Taiwan sure did school me. It was beautiful, and I’d heartily recommend visiting. Of course, if you can explore the country with your best friends, that’s just an added bonus. Not to get all Dirty Dancing on this post, but I really did have the time of my life, and I really do owe it all to them. And also the person who hit me with their car, I guess.

The moral of the story is sometimes you just need to get run over a little bit to have an awesome adventure. Or something. Carpe diem, my friends.